Bitch, please

You know what’s not fair? That you get to make comments about anything I do or say.

You’re pregnant, why are you talking about how good beer it?

I hate you… but I want you so badly.

Your hooker shoes look real good in the rain… real good.

You better have a sex story for me when you get back from your trip- you know who you are!

I don’t know how you synced up with my cycle but the fact that I have a vagina and you have a penis means only one of us is entitled to this moodiness.

If your apartment is in New Jersey and you stay in your apartment 5 out of 7 nights a week then you live in New Jersey. You are not a New Yorker!

Dude I’ve seen your dick- and I’m still not a lesbian.

The fact is he’d choose you over her but you won’t choose me over him- how did someone who’s such a dick end up being a better friend than you?

Really you see this as a brother and sister interaction??? I’d hate to sit in on your therapy sessions.

Seriously seriously seriously!!!! Fuck you!!! No wait you’re afraid to even kiss me!

If I talk too damn much why don’t you figure out a way to shut me up… I’ve got some ideas

You and Your baby daddy and your mother don’t have jobs… every day’s a fucking relaxing day for you… quit acting like you have shit to keep you busy.

dude I know you’re trying to eye-fuck me… my retina’s just aren’t interested… so please stare at the impotence problems? sign instead.

Your date just ordered apple juice to drink with his meal- he must be a winner in bed.